enigmatic.

tonight was the busiest night of the month in the pearl district. although it is at times difficult for me to partake in such highly social events, i made it through the evening having seen a wide range of work. i also dodged many cars and pedestrians as everyone was completely oblivious to anything happening directly outside their flow. one guy wanted to take my picture and use my face for a project he was working on on his computer. i said no.

i was surprised however in the lack of substance i felt for 87% of the work i viewed this evening. i am left feeling confused about what my definition(s) of art is. confused.

maybe it is worth the wait to see so much that leaves you feeling nothing so you are fully prepared when you get punched in the gut by that unsuspecting piece hanging in the corner. but some work i find aesthetically beautiful but feel nothing...but like to look at it. and much of the work that punches me in the gut is not work i wish was hanging in my living room.

so, i am confused...not only about what i see but also what i am doing. is it okay to pour out emotion into something...selfish emotion...and expect other people to understand it? of even like it or feel something from it? or is that just for me. and it is the process that is for me, because in most cases i am completely detatched from the piece when it is done. and what determines if it is done is when we have finished our exchange (the piece and i).

confused. bewildered. disconcerted. worried. perplexed. nonplussed. confounded. baffled. puzzled. discomposed. in a quandary. at a loss for words. embarrassed.